it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
