Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
