legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
