forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize