I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
