You're so nebulous sometimes
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize