Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
