The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize