There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Randomize