dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
