Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
