So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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