Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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