So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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