But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
