I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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