I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
