One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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