Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(912): View more from Georgia

It's shedding

(1-912): View more from Georgia

I told you penises don't tan

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(775): View more from Nevada

Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...

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(912): View more from Georgia

we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.

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(347): View more from New York

full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.

(701): View more from North Dakota

The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.

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