i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
