you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He better not be in your backpack
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
