Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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