making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
