We're like a lot better than the average bears
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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