I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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