You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
