I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
