paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
