So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
