it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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