i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
