I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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