I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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