you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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