Buhtt sex?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
