Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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