Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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