Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
