I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
