Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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