Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Even the bartender felt bad for me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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