Nicole vs. Life
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
3pm strippers are depressing
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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