I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
