he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
