We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
