I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I smell like Dick and happiness
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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