Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
