Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I cut my penus on the lid.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
