Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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