Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
