i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
