So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
