Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We need a shit load of segways right now
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
