you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize