Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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