Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize