I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
