I think i peed on brittanys purse
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
