Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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