I love having hate sex.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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