I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
