i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
