I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
ttyl tear gas
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
