Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
