This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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