hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
