Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
